Movies with Fuckmaster

This video is from several months back, when Randy and Wyatt, otherwise known as 'Fuckmaster' were visiting at the same time, we spent a whole weekend partying, and this happened at one of those parties. There's more of this video that will be posted in the "iPhone" section very soon, like in the next few days

So if you've been following my SnapChat for a while, you remember back in March when my old buddy Fuckmaster came to visit, at the same time as my buddy Randy. Fuckmaster was one of the most popular guys on here back in the day when he was a Marine here, he's been out for a minute now and blew through town on his way to fuck some chick in Orange County, and your other fave guy Randy happened to be here at the same time. Both of them are huge partiers so I knew we'd get into some trouble with them both here at the same time. But first we needed to get Randy cleaned up. He's only been out for a few months, and was still in that 'free' period where he just wanted to let his hair and beard grow out 'cuz he was finally free. This wouldn't do for hitting the town, so Fuckmaster offered to trim it up for him. Fuckmaster used to cut his First Sergeant's hair back in the day, so he knew what he was doing. Both of these guys hate wearing clothes, so it was easy to get them out of their pants—Fuckmaster was wearing the same clothes from the day before and needed to toss his threads in the washer, Randy didn't want to get hair all in his clothes before he went out. Pretty soon both their big dicks were out. Fuckmaster has always been known for his big shlong, but Randy's uncut cock is def bigger still.

Okay, I know some of you might not appreciate the gunplay. Firearms are, pardon the pun, a loaded topic. However, you just can't get around the fact that marines like guns. They do. They enjoy shooting things, that's why they're marines. And sometimes they're a little violent, even the really nice ones like my buddy Matt. Truly one of the nicest, bestest friends I've ever had the pleasure to know, he'll give you the shirt off his back. He'll also blow a rabbit to a pulpy mess with my shotgun, and then set it on fire. Naked. Some of you might not appreciate that...but I know for a fact that some of you will find that hot as fuck. If so, then this update is for you. So the night before, we were headin' down some back roads towards a friends house for a beerpong/kegger party, when a rabbit ran in front of us. Matt did not try to hit it, totally did not see it in time, and there's no way we could have avoided it. So before anyone gets all upset that there's a dead bunny in this video, all I can say is, "Circle of Life", folks. Shit happens. Having happened though, we decided that Thumper's life should not have been taken in vain. We put it in the back of his truck and took it out shooting with us the next day. Matt, and another buddy of ours who I have hung out naked at parties with before but did not get naked this time, went out to the middle of nowhere once again, and found a spot where lots of people go to shoot shit. We found a little debris field, including a big-screen plasma TV that had apparently pissed someone off. So I often have these parties out at my place, and sometimes they get a little crazy. You got maybe 100 drunk marines, very few girls, and maybe some locals thrown in. And the locals don't always get along with the marines and vice versa, and some of these guys come from tough neighborhoods back home, and sometimes people get unruly. Mat's idea was that we should load up some salt shells for the shotgun, so that if anyone got too out of hand I could safely unload a few rounds into 'em, and they'd just get the wind knocked out of them and get some skin taken off. But never having made salt shells before, we wanted to know what they would really do so that I would feel safe blasting someone with them if the need arose. We needed something that would show what they would do to a flesh and blood creature. And to see the actual effect on the skin, we needed the fur to come off. So he poured gasoline on it and set it on fire. I stress once again that this poor bunny was killed instantaneously and on accident. I feed the living, hopping bunnies in my yard bread crumbs and veggies. I love bunnies, I think they're adorable. We would've avoided killing it of we could have, but it ran right under the wheels and there was nothing we could do about it. Once dead though, we weren't about to let the opportunity go to waste. The bunny did get some revenge though, it smelt terrible. It's a good thing you can only see and hear what's going on. There's not much to describe about the rest of the video: Matt is naked and roams around the desert blasting away with my shotgun while our buddy and I watch. He takes a piss and shoots at the same time. Our buddy throws shit up and he shoots it out of the air...he's an excellent shot, I have to say. I mean go figure, that's his job pretty much he'd better be good at it. He has a long floppy dick that bounces around all over the place while he's tromping through the debris field looking for shit to unload on. And by the end, there's pretty much nothing left of the rabbit. I tried to keep the mess out of frame as much as possible, but it's in there occasionally and I apologize. However, that's what you get for wanting to watch real straight guys and marines...they're definitely not squeamish. This is what they do for fun. As our buddy put it near the beginning of the video, "Is there anything better than naked shooting?" Matt replies maybe "having a chick suck your dick while naked shooting." Maybe another day Matt...

Today's video come from some tapes I thought I had lost, which would have been sad because I think it's one of the hottest videos I've ever taped. You have to watch the preview on this one! There's over 40 minutes of this naked wildness. They are from the same night as the movie Gangbang Outtakes, but this is what happened after the guys got done fucking the girl. Trevor, Nick Gunner, and Meatgrinder are all guys that love to be naked and even though she was gone they were in no hurry to put their clothes back on. We had been drinking and you could have cut the testosterone with a knife. Trevor starts off the insanity by shooting one of the leftover condoms at Gunner and Meatgrinder, which starts a free for all. My buddies Killian and Kaneohe, who were in the same platoon as Trevor and Nick, had come over with those guys but hadn't been part of the gangbang (although I'm sure they woulda liked to be) so they still had there clothes on but that didn't stop them from getting in on the action. Killian whacked Gunner on the ass with a flyswatter and from there it turned into a crazy naked free-for-all. Five guys packed into my kitchen...three of them naked in front of their bros from the barracks, who are just as eager to have fun. in fact it looks more like a locker-room than a kitchen, you can just imagine these guys showering after a hard PT and slapping each other with towels and whatnot, but because it's my house it gets way crazier. Pretty soon they're wrestling around on the floor. Now I love to watch some wrestling, I think it's cool when my bros are so comfortable being naked with each other they can roll around on the floor together with their cocks out, but this is even better because there's THREE of them rolling around together in a pile and they're doing it in front of their marine buddies who are pretending not to enjoy the show but who nevertheless stay to watch the whole thing. It's super hot when Kaneohe drips lube on his naked buddies. Now that's a good friend. But that's not all...for the last round Wyatt AKA Fuckmaster, who hates wearing clothes more than anyone I know (well except for Trevor maybe, it's a tie) and was a state championship wrestler in high school, join in. He was in on the fucking but had since put on his pants to go to the store for booze, decided he wanted to be in on this action too. A few months before, Fuckmaster's dad was in town and they had been talking about his high school wrestling days and I heard about a signature move of his. So you'll hear Meatgrinder keep asking to see 'the Move' and me saying 'not yet' because I knew that would end things real quick and I wanted them to keep going. Eventually he uses it on Nick Gunner though and boom it's done. It's so fast though everyone wants to see a step-by-step breakdown. BTW, if you want to watch these guys actually fucking the girl, head over to SemperFcuk.com to watch these guys in action.

All good things must come to an end, and so it is with my best buddy in the whole world, Wyatt. You've seen a lot of him, in lots of different situations, but here is my personal favorite. Wyatt and I were hanging one fun, event-filled night and eventually we got to where we were both super horny and we both wanted to jerk off. I told him I would pay for the cam girl if hed let me tape it and of course he was down.

So y'all know I shoot videos for another site called SemperFuck.com. well recently I met a bunch of really super-cool guys who like to have fun, and I thought we'd have some fun by bringing down a girl from LA for them to fuck. That and my buddy Wyatt was about to get out of the USMC and go home, and it'll be a while before I see my best friend again. So I got everyone together for a good old-fashioned gangbang. This girl wanted to fuck and that's all there was to that ("I want cock!!" she yells at one point), and my boys were happy to oblige. Actually the guys had a lot of fun in general that night. When we weren't taping with the girl everybody was outside chillin' on my porch. It's cool to see my friends hanging out in front of their buddies rocking out with their cocks out. The video open with my best friend Wyatt railing the shot out of the girl, with 3 other guys watching. He pounds her like a champ and his awesome boydunkadunk hides her from view. Then he lays across the bed to finger her, and while you don't have to see that the affect is it makes his amazing ass bounce around in a mesmerizing way. Then it's my boy Nick Gunner's turn. He's a little guy with a huge cock and he shows this girl that he knows how to use it. You get another great review of his perfect bubble butt bouncing and he thrusts his huge cock deep inside her. My buddy Trevor, who has since become one of my closest friends and is one of the coolest guys you can know, can be seen over his shoulder getting a sloppy bj while new guy MeatGrinder watches jerks off. Next there's a long stretch where you get to watch Trevor (who also has monster cock and it's this scene that always reminds me of how massive his babymaker really is), Gunner and Grinder jerk off. Trevor and Gunner both drop big loads on her, Trevor even though he's already cum once and is using his own boy juice as lube. After a quick post-game interview as they boys wait to get in the shower, we get to see the aftermath of the evening as the boys hang out in the back yard and let off some steam by jumping off the roof into the pool like the crazy motherfuckers they are. A lot of the video is messed up, there's some super hot scenes of the guys in there but to be honest I don't know if I'll ever be able to make a whole video out of it. If I do you'll see it on SemperFuck.com, look for it there!

This is the second part of the Naked Tattoo video. It starts out with me describing what happened to a buddy of mine, who woke up one morning and took a piss only to discover that the night before he'd had an american flag and eagle tattooed on his dick. My buddy says this is so someone could "swallow his pride." Now normally the last thing I would ever do would be to get a tattoo needle anywhere my dick, but what the hell...I had been drinking enough to not feel much, and I was always curious about how much it would hurt. The answer is: not as bad as I thought, although my buddy did give me a very small one, just a single chevron. In the marine corps that's a private first class...so then the joke was that my "privates were first class". It's jokes here all day! My buddy Smokey wondered when I would get promoted, but the guys decided I should get an instantaneous meritorious promotion because I was a BAMF...a Bad Ass Motherfucker. I have to say that I'm really impressed with my buddy Smokey's and his friend's camera work. Smokey's buddy, a marine I had never met before, handled most of it and did a great job. Even at one point when Smokey and I were outside discussing something conducting a little interview with my buddy...how long had been tattooing, and so on. Smokey took the camera for a minute when his buddy went in to get beer and he's just a crack up at all times. Then the tattooing was over and I got a look. I wanted him to fill everything in but that'll have to wait for a later day, but whatever. And I finally got to look at the special tatt that he designed for me that represented out friendship. This was a very special shoot for me, because right after this my buddy got out of the Corps and went home. But I'll always remember him and this shoot every time I look in a mirror and see the work that he did.

By now you've seen plenty of my buddy Wyatt. He shows up in a lot of my videos because of all the guys I know, he is my very best buddy of them all. And although he's very straight—in fact he's one of the pussy-gettinist guys I've ever known—he's totally comfortable being naked and hanging out with other naked guys. It's a nice combo. But now his time is up, my best buddy is getting out of the Corps and going home. This is the last video you'll see him in, at least for a while. And for this last video we wanted to do something special. Something you many not know about Matt is, he is a tattoo artist. So is his girlfriend, actually, he picked it up from her. He practiced over in Iraq while he was deployed there last year, and he's been practicing ever since and has gotten pretty good. I wanted to get one from him before he left, something that would symbolize the intense friendship we have built up. Now about 2 months ago he did a tattoo for a buddy of mine, who we have since nicknamed 'Scorpius' because Matt gave him a giant scorpion tattoo that wrapped around his leg and went up his hip. This was actually the day after we tapped the video 'Bros chillin'. Scorpius got that tattoo sprawled out on my couch and because of where the tattoo was, he (Scorpius) had to be naked the whole time. Matt, who loves to be naked himself, offered to do the tattoo naked himself, and I was just about to get to tape it when Scorpius backed out and decided he didn't want to do that one on film (damn!!). But once I knew that Matt would do that I decided that I wanted my tattoo in the same location, that Matt should be naked when he did it, and that I would tape the whole thing for My Straight Buddy. That was 2 months ago. Shit just kept coming up…one weekend he was off visiting his girlfriend. The next week I was off somewhere. And then back and forth back and forth like this for what seemed like forever. But eventually it happened, on Matt's last weekend here. He came down to Dink's to chill (we also went on a bi-plane ride around San Diego which was the shit) and brought his gun, and we went to work. Now when Scorpius got his tattoo, he was in a lot of pain, and I kinda made fun of him a little bit for it. While he was getting it he had to actually borrow my leather belt so that he could bite it, and I kinda made fun of him for being a marine and not being able to take some pain. I love getting tatted, and I made out like he was being a puss for not being able to take it. Well, now it was my turn. However I cheated, I drank myself stupid before he started, and you can surely tell that I'm more than a little buzzed when this video starts LOL. Originally Dink was going to tape this video, but he got called away to more pressing matters. Luckily another one of my bros was down there and we just gave the camera to him. Surprise bro, you're gonna be taping two naked dudes! But he was cool with it, and I think it's kinda cool that this video not only features one of my buddies, but was also taped by one. He turns out to be a pretty good camera man, although if it had been Dink or me behind the camera one of us would have noticed that the light was too harsh. So the lighting could be better, but the content is hot. Matt and I end up verrrry close to each other, and you can't get much more comfortable as friends and buddies than you see us being in this video. It hurt like a bitch, but not as bad as I thought it would and in general I was able to take it better than Scorpius, which I was proud of. Mind you Scorpius' tattoo was much larger than the one I got. In addition, he gave me a special smaller tattoo on my left arm that represented our friendship. I told him that I didn't want to know what it was…that he should come up with something that would have deep meaning to us, and part of the meaning would be that I would trust him to tattoo whatever he wanted on there, wherever he wanted, which is a level of trust I have with exactly no one else but him. This is part one of the video…the rest will come in two weeks, and you will find out what tattoo he gave me and why. Also, you will see him get so close in to tatt it that his cock ends up resting on my knee. Now that's a close friend!

If I have a favorite spot to hang out in the desert, it's got to be the abandoned mine outside of town. you've seen it before in some videos with Zack. It's far enough out of town that no one's going to bother you while you're out there, and yet it's totally accesible even if you don't have a 4-wheel drive. Lots of people must think the same thing, because the area is littered with about a ton of crap that people have dropped off and then shot at. I have to admit that I think it sucks that people dump their shit out there, because otherwise the view up on that hill is amazing and it would be a beautiful place to enjoy nature. But the shit's there, and if it's there, we might as well shoot at it. Naked. Both me and my buddy were feeling some stress one Saturday afternoon, me from work and him from his girl, who he'd just had a very frustrating conversation with. He and I generally have the same solution for frustration...get out the shotties and blow some holes in some shit. So we went back to the mines. Well, mine, anyway. The first thing we noticed was that someone had left a who truck there, so immediately we knew what we'd be expending our ammo on. The second thing we noticed was that we were wearing too many clothes. That's right, both of us this time. Matt was always having all the fun, but I like to run around naked just as much as he does. We're about as tight as bros as you can imagine and we're both totally comfortable letting it all hang out in front of each other, and we both fucking hate wearing clothes, almost as much as we love shooting stuff with out shotguns. Now I realize that some of you may not enjoy the violence and gunplay. But that's what straight military guys like to do...they like to shoot shit and fuck girls. And drink beer. So we blew the shit out of this truck, basically. I have to say it was amazing being out there in the open desert, the weather was about perfect and it felt great to hike the rather long way from Matt's truck down the hill to the target vehicle. I love being naked out in the open, far away from safety. Occasionally Matt would hear a noise and worry that someone was coming, until I reminded him, "Let them come, we have shotguns--what are they gonna do?" Run, probably. You can tell in this video how tight Matt and I are and how chill we are around each other. We climbed all over that truck naked, threw stuff up in the air for each other to get shot (that's my old graphics tablet that stopped working that I can't seem to hit), and generally had a great time. WARNING: Matt shoots a lizard and then finishes it off with a rock. I'm pretty sure that's the first time that's ever been featured in porn. With all our rounds gone it was time to head home. Matt couldn't resist climbing over the mine a bit, and taking a piss off the side, at least until we saw the huge swarm of termites. We said "gross" and bailed.

About a week ago, a some buddies came over with a dirtbike and a quad and we decided to go exploring out in the desert. It was all fun and games until my buddy M flipped the dirtbike and landed in a cactus, scratching up is back pretty bad and killing the bike. The video starts out with us getting ready to go back to the house. We're about to pack into my buddy's truck when M and E (who had just got back from Afghanistan the day before) decided to drop their shorts and go for a quick naked run. The next part of the video starts out with my buddy M, who had just got out of the shower in an attempt to wash the cactus needles out of his back, naked in my kitchen talking to his dad on the phone about what could possibly be wrong with the bike since it wouldn't start again. My friend S, comes in to announce that there's 'another naked boy outside'. Turns out that E had dropped his shorts and was sitting out on my porch with his cock hanging out. Well that was all the reason I needed to drop my shorts, too. Let's all hear it for good, warm weather. This video is rather eclectic. There's not a lot of point to it, it's just a record of a crazy evening at my house, where clothing is definitely optional and guys like to be naked as much as possible. M is initially resistent, having put his shorts back on and saying he's 'not in naked mode' (which is kindof weird from him because he's always in naked mode), but whatever. My girl S doesn't stop until he's out of his shorts, too. It takes a minute though, and before that happens you get to watch a very naked E helping M try to start the dirtbike (still talking to his dad on the phone). While we're waiting for that, E picks up my guitar and wanders around the house strumming. My buddy B, who does not like to get naked but is pretty much used to his buddies getting naked at my house, is in the background. We all end up on the porch, and S manages to (finally) get M out of his shorts. The both of them are just hanging around goofing off--nothing sexual, just bros who are extremely comfortable with their cocks out having a good time on a Saturday night, it's awesome. Then all of us head inside to bother B. We tried real hard to get him naked too but he was having none of that. However in the meantime, M runs E through a PT routine, and man is he (E) a motivated motherfucker. Lastly, just before the end of the night, S convinced E to try on her short shorts, just to see if he fit in them. He did...but his big ol' dick most certainly did not. NOTE: I apologize for the generally poor lighting in this video. This shit just happened, and I was lucky enough to have a camera charged up and ready to go to record it. However, it was not the one with the NiteVision.

So once again my buddy comes over cuz my place is nicer than the barracks. Well, it is. Actually he's here most of the time that he's not on post, which is fine by me because he's about the nicest, coolest guy you can imagine. Like, I had a party here this last weekend and he brought some buddies over to help clean up. Also, he likes to jerk off on my couch or my bed while talking to his girlfriend on the phone, and then doesn't bother to put on clothes afterwards. I get to see this guy naked a LOT, not that I mind. He had some extra time during work hours the other day, and stopped by to see if he could use my shower, as the water in the barracks runs lukewarm at best. But of course, I said. You've seen a lot of Matt recently, but not in this glorious, up-close-with-his-soapy-cock-swinging-around detail. The camera loves him, and he really digs being on camera. He washes himself up good, and then asks for a razor, and proceeds to shave 'racing stripes' into his crotch. Afterwards he doesn't really want to put on his clothes yet, so he asks what he can do next. I ask him how long it's been since he's rubbed one out--turns out it's been a few days. Well actually he says 'a while', that could mean a few hours for this horny bastard. The weather's turned nice here again recently, and you know how much I like going outside. Unfortunately I have a neighbor now, so no more fun out on the front porch like in the old days. But he stands just inside the door where he can feel the fresh breeze on his balls, and when he cum he jizzes all over my front mat. BTW that whole bit where he's looking at his phone while he's jerking? That's a video of him fucking his girlfriend. I wish I could show that to you it was hot!

My buddy Wyatt, who you'e already gotten introduced to, has been spending quite a bit of time over at my place. And a lot of that time, he's spent talking to his girlfriend, who lives all the way on the other side of the country. They don't get to see each other a lot. However, they do get to sex each other up over the phone lines quite a bit. They call this 'breaking', kind of like 'breakfast' is 'breaking the fast', but the fast that they're breaking is 'not getting any'. Or I guess you could also thinking of it as 'breaking down and giving into your urges'. Either way, they do enjoy sexing each other up over the phone. So I'm in my house doing whatever, and he runs in from his truck (he always talks to her outside in the cab of his pickup for privacy) and informs me that they're about to 'break'. This is why I always try to keep my camera charged up. It's a short video, because it wasn't in any way taped for my benefit. Once they get to sexing each other, it doesn't take long for them to get each other off. And they have a personal rule--they always cum together. Isn't that just adorable?

If there's one thing my buddy Matt likes to it's come over and shoot my shotgun. I live out in the middle of nowhere pretty much and you can almost just walk out of my house and start blasting. Being a good marine (and a good friend), he always cleans the gun after shooting it. Last time we went out shooting though, he didn't get a chance to. Much to my surprise, the other day he show up at the house in the middle of the day, in his cammies. Turns out he's on lunch break, and he has some extra time to spare cuz they're about to go out to the field for a few days so his commander was going easy on them. So, he came over to clean the shotgun (and shoot the shit) while he had time. Like I said: good friend. Oh yeah, if there's one other thing he loves besides shooting my shotgun, it's being naked at y house. he loves coming over, because I don't make him wear clothes. He hates wearing clothes. Not wanting to get any crap on his uniform, the simple easy solution was for him to just take them off. Which he did. This is why I try to keep my camera charged at all times. Like I said, he loves to be naked, so I'm used to that. What too me by surprise was when he started playing with himself. He must've been horny as fuck, because it didn't take him but a minute to get his rocks off. You'll love watching him do it though...he has a dick that I can only describe as 'amazing'.

My buddy Matt likes to come over to my house just to get off base. He's also a very funny guy who's always entertaining, so I often end up taping our exploits. He hates clothes as much as I do. I have him naked on tape in many more cases than I can show, because he usually likes to drop trou, and there's generally a bunch of people around who are not as cool as he is about ending up on the internet. This time he was over at my place all by himself. The shindig was the night before, and he ended up being the last one left the next day, which was fine by me, he's one of my best bros and with any luck he may end up living here for awhile after my current roommate deploys to Afghanistan. Once again I was taping him, because he was cracking me up and we were having a great time sitting around my kitchen table bullshitting about this that and the other. He decides that he's hungry and heads for my ramen noodles. Now what you have to understand about my house is I have this horrible heater that has basically two settings: Freeze (off) or Fry. So despite being January, my place was stifling hot. With a little encouragement from me (not that much was needed), I convinced him it was too hot to be wearing clothes in my house and he totally agreed. He started with his shirt, then his shoes, then his jeans, each time finding out that he wasn't quite naked enough. Pretty soon his dick was swinging free. And what a dick it is, folks, the guy is huge (I've seen him fuck girls too so I know he knows how to use it as well). He also has an unbelievable ass, although you can't convince him of this to save your life. Then he and I bullshitted with each other for a bit, him sitting there with his gorgeous body and huge cock, while he slurped his ramen down and I kept the camera on him so you could enjoy the same view I was getting. The video is in black and white because once again this is an opportunity that just happened...I didn't have any lights set up or anything like that, I just had the NiteVision switch on my Handycam. Enjoy!

So MLK jr Day is my new favorite drinking holiday. My buddies had what they call a "96", that is, a 4-day weekend. I'm proud to say that we partied every single day. Friday was the first night, and one of my buddies brought over three of his buddies to hang with us. They were all super-cool but one--Matt--turned out to be a singularly cool individual who liked to get naked a lot. I found this out when he told us a story about him and a buddy suntanning--on duty--naked except for socks on the artillery range. And then he showed us a picture on his Facebook page...he was obviously not shy. He and his buddies ended up sticking around for the entire weekend. I dunno maybe it was the fact that I shot a straight porn with a buddy of mine fucking a girl on a motorcycle in front of my house that enticed them to stick around. Anyway we ended up partying on Saturday as well, with a whole shitload of cool people coming over to throw down with me. We partied long and hard into the night, until by the early morning hours there were only a few of us left. That's when someone suggested a game of strip beer pong. The game was originally supposed to be between 2 guys and 2 girls with a guy and a girl on each team, but then one of the girls had to go to work and it ended up just being two guys one on each side. Both had already decided they wanted to play strip beer pong, so they went right on ahead and did it anyway, and this time I had my video camera ready to go and I got the whole thing on tape. At first Matt was beating the pants off Mike, literally, making cup after cup and forcing Mike down to his shorts before he even had to take off his shirt. Soon the tide begins to turn, and although Mike is soon forced to get naked (on Matt's buds says "Get naked! Let's see the cock"), in the next throw Matt is has to go down to his silkies (his ultrathin USMC PT shorts). Some of Matt's buds are watching and they give him some shit for wearing silkies as underwear calling him "motivated re-enlister". Matt's like "I had PT this morning!" When Mike sinks another one and Matt finally has to drop his silkies they only have 3 cups left between them, but although it takes them most of the game to get down to 100% bare it takes them a while to finish off the game entirely--those last three cups are a killer--so they spend quite a bit of time fully naked with their bros and the girl from next door watching. One of the guys in particular is a real card and pops in frame to rub Matt's nipple at one point, and to tell a story about how Matt used to date his hot cousin and was walking around naked in his aunt's living room one day when his aunt saw him and Matt told her to "Look at it!" Also, Matt goes outside to piss off my porch (urinate off the side, not make it angry). Mike comes from behind to win it, and would have stuck around for a rematch if he didn't have PT in just a few hours.