Roadtrip 2: Breakdown (49 min)
My old buddies King and Zack came back for a visit recently. They flew out, but we roadtripped back, King, Zack and myself (they live in neighboring states). Both these guys are tight bros with me but had never previously met, although they had heard about each other from me. Since they were each super-tight with me and both shared a love of alcohol and nudity (often combined), I knew they'd get along great and by the end of the trip I'd have some crazy videos to share.
We were making good time across Nevada, which surely has to be one of the emptiest states I've ever driven through. Sailing at about 80mph through the middle of nowhere, we were feeling pretty good and thinking about how soon we'd get to King's when all of a sudden the engine started making a terrible noise and Zack had to pull over to the side of the road.
Turns out a sparkplug had come loose, just popped right out of the engine, which caused a loss of compression and we were dead in the water. Luckily I have roadside assistance, and amazingly I had phone service out in the middle of nowhere. There was only one place to get towed to...the little tiny town we had passed through about 20 minutes back. We knew they had a truckstop since we'd stopped there. Hopefully there'd be a motel and a service station.
Turns out there was a Shell station, three motels to choose from, and a 24/7 bar and restaurant right across the street. We couldn't have got stuck in a better place.
There was not much else though, so we left with little to do with our time except drink. Also the motel we picked had a laundry, and we needed to wash our shit badly.
So far on the trip I hadn't picked up the video camera much, preferring to just have fun with my bros, but I figured now was totally the time to start. Bored, stuck in a motel room with nothing to do...I knew shit was bound to happen, and I was not disappointed.
Much alcohol later...
Zack starts it by snapping leftover quarters from laundry at King. He's bit off more than he can chew though, King is an expert at snapping quarters and is super competitive. I can hear them singing through the air as they slice by me. I know both these guys really well and I know they're both dying for an excuse to get naked so I suggest that for each quarter they get hit with, they have to take off an article of clothing. Oh yeah they're all over that. They're both getting lots of hits in so it's not long before they're both naked, but Zack is seriously getting pounded, not only is king scoring hits but they hurt.
At the start of this scene Zack has been hit good a few times and is taking the last of his clothes off, and soon so is King. This doesn't stop the quarters coming from king though. The only solution is for Zack to try to tackle King at a moment when he's distracted showing his dick out the window. They end up rolling around on the bed for a minute, then King has to take a piss, and to my surprise Zack pops into the doorway to watch. He's all fired up with a wild look in his eye, wanting to go down to the Shell station and fix the car naked. I'd be all for it but I figured no matter how small the town was it probably had a sherif.
Then they're back to wrestling. Zack is a compact little guy, and is often underestimated by people who see his small size and don't realize it's all really concentrated muscle. Unfortunately for Zack King is just as solid but like twice as thick. King handles him easily and clearly enjoys picking up his buddy and throwing him around a little bit. At one point he threatens, "If you're not careful I'm gonna make you suck my dick," but unfortunately for you guys this turns out to be an idle threat. Zack taps out and tries to take a moment's rest but King, who is all charged up now, throws him to the floor. It's great.
Zack thinks he's going to change the odds by removing the belt from his pants and using that as a snapping weapon, but king just does the same, and he has one thing that Zack lacks: the will to use it. He gets Zack good in the shin—snap!—and takes him right down to the carpet. It's funny as fuck I won't lie. This goes on for a little while as Zack gamely tries to get some decent snaps in but he's no match for King who is pure evil with a belt. They each get up on a bed and trade snaps across the divide but if it ever comes to belt warfare, I'm getting behind King.
Belt warfare continues...with Zack desperately trying to fly the white flag because he's getting hammered but to no avail, he doesn't know King as well as I do to know that this is just blood in the water to a guy as competitive as King. Poor Zack eventually gets backed into a corner and tries to defend himself with pillows, and even that doesn't help. I almost died laughing.
Zack eventually gets King to stop long enough for them to compare welts. You'll love watching these two buddies examine each other's naked bodies in front of the mirror as they point out each other's hits, and King can't resist playing with Zack's ass a little bit. Then they start smacking each other hard trying to (successfully) put big red hand print on each other. Zack has a technique for making his whole hand count, but King has "big monkey hands" and with one particularly forceful smack sends Zack into a door, and that leaves a mark everyone's impressed by. They horse around some more while talking about going to the bar across the street to pick up some girls...wishful thinking at that bar in this town but whatever, they've got to take showers after all that sweaty wrestling and much to my surprise they decide to shower together. Whatever!
Sure enough the guys hop in the shower together. Zack has to shave his nuts just in case there are some girls over there who are as bored and as horny as he is. Now when he stumbled in from the bar at about 7 in the morning (in Nevada, the bars are open 24/7) he was boasting about having got some girl's number, so I ask if he thinks that girl will be there tonight, and he's like "What girl?" It comes out that he didn't get her number, she got his (also we found out later that she worked at one of the local whorehouses). They horse around for a little bit, it's just cool to watch these two buddies who are totally comfortable with one another. King gets Zack to wash his back but Zack keeps dropping the soap. King does the same for him, but the real fun comes when they start gut-punching each other...apparently as marines they had to do "body-hardening exercises" which involved tightening your abs and having your buddy punch you in the stomach. This scene ends with Zack in a towel walking down the hall to check on our laundry.
On the way back from the laundry room Zack drops towel (of course!) and walks back down the hall naked. King has put on shorts but Zack now can't find his...he can only find his belt, so he puts this on, which inspires King to drop his shorts again and put on his belt. They stick dollars in their belts like they're strippers, do the helicopter, Zack pretends to fuck a vodka bottle, and a bunch of horsing around in front of the mirror with Zack tugging at his nuts. King puts his shorts on again but once Zack's out of his clothes it's almost impossible to get them back on, so he stays naked to the end.